So I just watched this video on limerence , how to turn yearning into self-discovery by aby bee , which is a new word blown up on social media, atleast I've been seeing these type of videos on my feed.
Interesting topic, im sure many people have created these videos.
So limerence, by wiki is Limerence is the mental state of being madly in love or intensely infatuated when reciprocation of the feeling is uncertain. This state is characterized by intrusive thoughts and idealization of the loved one (also called "crystallization"), typically with a desire for reciprocation to form a relationship. This is accompanied by feelings of ecstasy or despair, depending on whether one's feelings seem to be reciprocated or not.
The way aby explained was that she tied it with liking someone by projection, so if one person feels they have a lack of something ie. confidence, assertiveness then it is highly possible that the love isn't entirely romantic but loves the potential within themselves which is unfulfilled. This happens and can lead to increase in unfulfillment, resentment, disappointment and even anger.
This is ties to the anima and animus in us, the way feminine and masuline aspects have been accepted or incorporated. No human is perfect but to love someone only because of your perceived idea of them/others, to love the perfection in them especially on the basis of things one finds lacking in oneself- this is dangerous territory and needs clarity.
The way one can, find a way to save oneself is by being aware of oneself and one's own idea of oneself and expectations from oneself too. I believe we tend to expect a lot from ouselves and these expectations are often too high, that we end up failing our expectations. the cycle should be stopped.
So incorporating the shadow side was a concept too talked about but is it too used as well??? We'll know when we are embracing our shadow when we instead of being triggered , getting angry or frustrated by skills of others we find lacking in ourselves, we gently overcome it, too easily some days because we recognise it is not impossible for us , its just different.
We can surely learn to be more accepting of ourselves, our quirks and uniqueness.
We don't have to worry about What we bring to the Table NO. We have to make sure we are sitting on the right ones.