30/6/2025 19:25 PM
Half-year Goodbyes are Bittersweet!!
I have been feeling a bit bittersweet about this, honestly framing this diary log as bittersweet wasn't a plan but here we are. Umm my emotions are sort of alright, not all over the place but I am not where I want to be in life is the conclusion I have drawn.
This is pretty normal. I also noticed while content consumption, that I might have been living precariously through others.
This OTHER person could be on the other end of the world and younger than me and expressing themselves better than me. I kinda watch it half way and feel not good enough.
A side effect of being immersed in reality that is not mine but a show basically just like anime shows. And while you can write fanfiction about OC's or even self-insert in those stories, at the end of the day you are not part of THAT STORY.
So the question arises -
WHAT IS YOUR STORY FOR REAL??
WHAT CHARACTER ARE YOU PLAYING IN THIS LITTLE LIFE??
HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE LEFT TO PLAY IT??
These thoughts came to me as I sat watching the rain, from outside of my bedroom window for once and my mind is still a bit umm well its MINDINGGGG..
I read a post about Agency and how everyone wants to have AGENCY in their lives but feel like they don't. How do you feel about that?? I do feel like sometimes I'm not being shown a clear path to take because all the paths I took wirh my own mind lead me nowhere.. I am not feeling as I thought I would feel at this age and honestly that kinda makes me want to cry.
I get it !
Life doen't owe me success or wonderful relationships at the timing that I WANT..
I always had them when I wasn't really looking for them, so who knows. I also don't think life will keep happenening the ssame way but boy do I have less faith in the Universe, God whatever... It's like its not for us but only others. Again comparison.
But I see people dumber tham me be more successfull and richer than me and I don't know really.
Yeah yeah, There's still more of life to come, more of the wonderful experiences to come buut I wonder if they will be as wonderful as I have hyped them up or am I going to be very dissappointed in them or maybe they will be GREATER THAN MY IMAGINATION....who knows..
Would love to come back at the end of the year and see where I am then..
For now the version of me that is writing this, I want to say Thank You.
Thank YOU for bringing light in my Life.
Thank YOU for hoping and dreaming for beautiful things.
Thank YOU for trying out new things that led me here.
Thank YOU for not being bogged down by the negatives of your environment.
Thank YOU for wishing the best for Our Futur Self and holding on to the Hope because it certainly has felt hopeless, hasn't it?
I am so fucking Proud of You for just being You.
I don't have the answers yet but I have just decided to rip the band-aid and BE.
Thank YOU for having the courage to Dream and trying to pursue in many ways regardless of the outcome.
I am forever Thankful for all you do, daily. In the habits you cultivated even when discouraged just for us to breath a little lighter and shine brighter.
May our dreams come true in the best way possible for us.
22/6/2025 18:51 PM
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆SUMMER SOLSTICE ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
Hey all Hello! Been a while or has it.
I have updated my button yo!! Matching with the heme again and this is a gif yayyy. I made one too.. Link back , and if any of you also have one let me know I am in the process of creating a link button wall page , it's on the way.
My recent project is finished. Just finished an A3 size painting kyaa...can't wait to share it, it looks majestic and honestly it was such a process. I am supr proud of myself for sticking with it till the end.
And I am in LOVE with it. Going to buy a frame for it and give it Queen treatment, it is what it deserves.
I also removed my mail it did not feel right to add anyway, you can get in touch with me through tumblr which is linked sneakily to my cozy journal aesthetics section.
So far I have been updating every week and it is easy to do so as well.
SUMMER SOLSTICE- I journaled a lot about my current feelings, status, etc. I shall burn some incense today just to cleanse out old energy.
Hope you guys are doing well. Byeee
13/6/2025 1:18 AM
Late night coding..
Hello, I just finished updating the anime page, since it was looking dreary. Haven't even looked at it since I uploaded the page. Anyway I am also uploading art page after this, it is incomplete but so is this website lol, it will be dne when its done, for now it is a work in progress.
So I have also UPDATED THE BACKGROUND OF THE SITE, it caught my eye and I decided this is what we are doing now. Change of Seasons n all that jazz...
Please have a look and let me know , comment on my neocities if you can. A lot still has to be done. For now we are good. i am Happy with the site update. Also changed the favicons yayyy...
9/6/2025 18:44 PM
June brings quiet!!
Hello a lot happened since the last update, I have been feeling the change of seasons a bit too deeply. Here for once it is predictable. This is my first update in June, the 6th month of the year and well! That was fast. LOL My thoughts go within too easily but so difficult to bring forth outside. The site project is going slow, as I am getting used to working in Linux, but it is going to be alright. My journal page is coming along nicely. I don’t know if the updates will show today or not. The art page is done too. Let’s see how it goes. I will start with uploading this log. See you soon.